One Man's Attraction Is Another Man's Repulsion

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One Man's Attraction Is Another Man's Repulsion
2007
By Cathy Sovinsky
DC Mentors

Half way through my elliptical training on Saturday morning, the yoga class let out at the gym. I could tell because of the surge of people filing by me. Ask anyone who knows me in my gym and theyÌll tell you that aerobics isnÌt my favorite form of exercise. I just canÌt muster up any enthusiasm for it, but I know itÌs necessary, so away to the machines I go. I plug into my iPod and attempt to find some upbeat, inspiring music that will take my mind away from the reality of running in place for as long as I can tolerate it.

After the yoga surge had passed, I could still ÏfeelÓ an intrusion happening around me. Someone was in my space. Looking around I saw a man approach the woman on the treadmill in front of me. He was in his late 20Ìs and looked like a skinny, much less masculine, Hippie version of Grizzly Adams. He stalked up and reached out to touch the woman on the treadmill on the shoulder. I went on alert and was ready to pounce on him if he tried anything as weird as he felt. She apparently knew him and they chatted for a moment. I went back to trying to forget I was running to nowhere. Just as I was back into flow, he turned from her and took three steps toward me. He reached into his pocket and slowly, like they reach for their guns in the movies, he pulled out a piece of paper. He reached up and, not saying a word (I had headsets on and wouldnÌt have heard anyhow), placed the paper on the edge of my elliptical machine. His hand hovered for a moment to make sure it would stay balanced there, he patted it and gestured to me that it was from him to me and giving a small bow, he walked off.

I was taken back and a bit befuddled. Trying to keep up my pace, I glanced at the paper and noticed it was the back of a business card with a hand written note on it. I pondered for a moment whether I wanted to pick it up and read it, or just flick it off onto the floor, or get off the machine and hunt him down to tell him what I thought of his tactics. It was an unwelcome intrusion, to say the least. I just wanted to keep in flow with my aerobic experience. Curiosity finally got the best of me. Enough time had passed, I figured heÌd left the building. I picked up the note and read it.

He wrote, and I quote, (yes I saved it. I knew I had to share it with you!):

IÌve been observing you. Be aware of your knees. If they point inwards you will strain your Quadratus Lumborum, Psoas/Illiacus , and Adductors. This closes down your hips (1st & 2nd Chakras). Try to keep your hips-knees-feet in line and your lower back will flow properly. Call me if you need help with any bodywork. Ò Jeff

I turned the card over Ò ÏHolistic Wellness Center Ò Chiropractor, Bodywork & Nutrition.

Oh the pain! A Chiropractor...well at least 1/3 of him is.

ThereÌs been a resurgence of the ÏThe Law of AttractionÓ and I had to share this story with you. What the giver perceives as attractive, the receiver just might find repulsive.

This whole scene was unattractive. IÌm sure you donÌt have the creepy feel that this guy did, but I hear too often the way
chiropractors talk with people (patients and potential patients alike).

Please, donÌt use technical terms if youÌre trying to connect with people. I happen to know all those big words he wrote because I did my husbandÌs dictation in practice, but IÌm not impressed. I can even spell them, so what?! He didnÌt prove to me how smart he is. No connection could possibly be created with that vocabulary. Be aware of your words.

In general, people donÌt want your opinion, unless they ask for it! UNsolicited advice is UNwelcome. I considered, for a brief second, that perhaps there was something there for me to learn. But I couldnÌt get over the invasion of my space and time to listen to what he might be trying to say with his big words. Once people get to know you, see you around, have a few small talk sessions about the weather, observe your confidence and trustworthiness, THEN theyÌll actually ASK you for your opinion. ThatÌs attractive. Forcing your agenda is not.

Another tip: People donÌt like to be criticized. I donÌt like to be criticized even when I do ask for your opinion, but at least then IÌll listen. I more or less despise aerobic exercise. IÌm doing it and thatÌs a good thing. Someone who wanted to be attractive in my book would tease me about the look on my face while IÌm on the elliptical machine while they encourage me to keep up the good work, not tell me IÌm doing it wrong. And they wouldnÌt be able to approach me without some former rapport having been built already.

Lastly, (need I even say this?!) a man should NEVER offer an unfamiliar woman help with any bodywork! Creepy, creepy, CREEPY!

DC Mentors talks a lot about being contactable in your community. Wherever you go there you are, representing you and your practice. The definition of contactable isnÌt wearing a billboard and expounding to all around you about what you do and how you can help them. Being contactable is getting to know people, developing rapport and recognition in the community so that when someone does need a chiropractor, guess who theyÌll think of first?